Spontaneous is My Middle Name. Green Tie Ball 2017 Review - ish | Chicago, IL

Ello wubs.

Friday was one of the longest days of my entire life BUT in a good way. I started my day ass early. I am talking 5 am early. I know a lot of you corporate folk are probably used to mornings starting that early, but not me, hell no, I am not built for it. To be honest, if I had to be some place that early everyday I wouldn't be employed for very long. Oh yeah, that's what happened anyway... with every. single. job. (Ok enough with the periods Paula, they get it, it's dramatic) I've ever had working for someone else...

Hey, I'm a creative, it's in my blood to explore and invent. I'M NOT MEANT TO BE TIED DOWN!

Excuse me while I take a moment to reflect on my life choices.

*Jeopardy Music*

Ok I'm back.

Back to my narrative, it's Friday, September 15th 2017 at 5 am. I'm crawling out of my bed and into my bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for my shoot at Hair Fusion Bar with a call time of 9 am in Chicago's West Loop. I, myself live across the street from a corn field in Plainfield, IL. Without traffic I can get down town in about 50 minutes but in rush hour traffic you'll want to allow 2 hours just to be on the safe side. It seemed to be one thing after another driving into the city, which was mentally exhausting. Accident, train, traffic, in that order. Plus it has been unusually hot outside this week so everyone and their mother is out enjoying the sun before hibernation season starts.

Once I arrived I found a spot right out front (score!), so I paid for parking on my handy dandy Park Chicago app (where you can pay and reload your meter right from your mobile device) and rushed in the door to start setting up. We were filming a feature/segment and I had to complete makeup on 8 people. I always have fun working with the ladies at Hair Fusion Bar. We ordered pizza, chatted and did makeup all morning into the afternoon. While doing makeup for one of the hair models, Bri, she mentioned that she was on the board for Chicago's famous Green Tie Ball and could get me tickets! The crazy thing is that I had just looked up tickets a few days ago and didn't think of it as a priority after all the traveling I had done this year. Thanks for looking out, Universe!  Of course, I jumped all over the opportunity, texted my friend Rachel, from Rachel J Styling and told her we had a date with destiny.
 The stylists at Hair Fusion Bar after I did their makeup.
Let me tell you, I had absolutely nothing with me for a ball. I was worse off than Cinderella without a fairy godmother. So my choices were, head home and back to the city which would take 4 hours or head to Michigan Ave and start shopping. I texted the boyfriend and his response was, "I just got paid, just go buy what you need". Awwwwwwwwww, I know, he's nauseatingly sweet sometimes. Once I wrapped my shoot with Hair Fusion Bar I was off to Bloomingdale's at 900 North Michigan Ave. - Can I just say it's ridiculous I have to pay $15 to park there? Anyway, I fly to the dress section and start pulling dresses from the sale section like a GD pro. I had done this exact same thing just 2 weeks ago for one of my bff's weddings and found a sweet dress that received a zillion compliments, so I was feeling good about this. After trying on 15 dresses I stuck with the first one I tried on. A blue BCBG with some cute cutouts. I paid for my dress (only $113 on sale 60% off!) and headed over to grab some Spanx. After that, I ran a little over a mile trying to find a bra that would work before deciding to go bra-less. As I am walking by Michael Kors I decide to pop my head in and ask if they had any cheap-ish sales shoes. I flinched when the dude started showing me some GORGEOUS options thinking this is going to be way out of my budget. He grabs some gold heels and tells me they're on sale and the last pair for only $60. The price is amazing! HOWEVER, I was worried about my ankle, I had injured it back in January on a yoga retreat trip with my friend Angie. (Oh, by the way, yoga retreat is code for binge drink and make poor choices.) I had tried wearing heels in May and ended up looking like a baby calf and buying flip flops at Walgreens making me late for an interview with an agency that was important to me. They didn't care for my "excuse" and I didn't end up getting the opportunity. Since then high heels and I had been fighting. I resented them. I bought them anyway and at checkout they were incorrectly marked and ended up being only $46! The stars were aligning.

Second Option

The skirt detail was great in this dress.

After leaving the mall I started my trek north to Architectural Artifacts where the event would take place. I stopped off at a Walgreens to buy a razor. I got in my car and sat there for a minute pondering how the hell I was going to pull all of this off from inside by car when BAM, lightbulb! I have an amazing photographer friend, Todd Rosenberg, with a studio ON the block of the party. I texted him and he just so happened to be there editing photos for a deadline and having din din with his super sweet wife Stacey. They welcomed me to come by at get ready. Seriously, a miracle I was able to get ready there. I'm pretty impressed with the way my hair and makeup turned out. I shaved my legs and pits in the bathroom sink and met Rachel out front in her boyfriend's black Maserati!

God was I happy to finally see Rachel and BE on the WAY to this thing. Of course the two of us using 3 forms of navigation still got pretty lost but after circling the same few blocks for 15 minutes we found it, valeted the car and stepped into the party. After passing through what seemed to be like a "lobby" with a couple cute step and repeats, we entered the outdoor area. The theme had a gladiator feel to it. There were ladies painted in gold, large pillars, pretty lights and a huge bar in the middle. The liquor sponsors were Kettle One Vodka and Don Julio Tequila. As for the bartenders, they were serving the drinks up stiff. The music was fun, there was a band and Dj's that switched off playing hit songs with their own fun twist added in. The Food.. man there was seriously SO much food and I didn't eat anything I didn't love.

For the most part Rachel and I had fun. We are the type of friends that don't see each other as often as we'd like due to distance but when we do, it's always a good time. One of the only things I'd change would be the number of seats available for people to sit/eat/chill and the rude people hoarding them like some kind of middle school bullies. I must admit,  the thought crossed my mind to "trip" and spill champagne on a few people being stuck up assholes. The first time I tried to sit on a large sectional couch, the only woman sitting on it, literally, spread her arms and legs and spazzed out yelling, "There's no room! There's no room!" We were so shocked! At another couch across the room, a different woman, after I sat down actually yelled and waved her hand in my face saying, "SOMEONE'S SITTING THERE YA KNOW?!" To which I responded, "Oh really? Did I sit on them? Sorry I didn't see anybody." She huffed and puffed and rolled her eyes but never got up. She was guarding her seat like a dog making obnoxiously loud noises expressing her discontent with me sitting a seat over from her. Of course I had to linger there for a few extra moments being sweet and socializing with everyone nearby before heading out for a refill of champagne. Oh and by the way, the "people sitting there" never came back. I'm thinking they probably bailed because she was such a rude ass bitch. Haha - ANYWAY... Moving on -

The outside area eventually closed which caused the event space to become extremely crowded, that was our cue to leave. It had been real but the party was over. I mean, not really but I was done - I had a long ass day. There was no way I was making it to the after party at The Underground though I'd be lying if I said I didn't strongly consider it. 

It was a cool event overall, great food, fun entertainment and great service.

Lame "sibling" type pose from 1991

Aaaaand a hilarious photo of Rachel trying to set a photo timer.

Get to the CHOPPAAAA

Event Specifics
Date and Time
Friday, September 15, 2017
7:00PM – 1:00AM
Artifact Events
4325 N. Ravenswood Ave. Chicago, IL
Masters of Ceremonies
Eric Ferguson, Host of The Eric & Kathy Show, Mornings on 101.9 The Mix & Marion Brooks NBC5 Chicago News Anchor
Special Guests
DJ White Shadow
Chicago Fire’s Taylor Kinney
DJ Rock City
DJ Eddie Mills
DJ Squeeze
Featured Restaurants
312 Chicago ~ 90 Miles Cuban Cafe ~ Bar Roma ~ Barn & Company ~ Bellwether ~ Bistronomic ~ Blu 57 ~ Boeufhaus ~ Caffe Umbria Coffee Roasters ~ Cantina Laredo ~ Cookie Dough Sweets ~ Dee’s ~ Eli’s Cheesecake Company ~ Glazed & Infused-Bucktown ~ The Hampton Social ~ Harry Caray’s Italian Steakhouse ~ Home Run Inn Pizza ~ Hubbard Inn ~ III Forks ~ Imperial La Mian Chicago ~ Joy District ~ Katana Chicago ~ Macello Ristorante ~ Perry’s Steakhouse & Grille ~ Porkchop ~ Rivers Casino ~ ROCKIT ~ RPM Steak ~ Spin-Spun All Natural Confections ~ STK Steakhouse ~ Sunda ~ Sushi-San ~ Taco Joint ~ Tavern on Rush ~ Texas de Brazil ~ Wieners Circle

Tickets – Limit 1,000 Attendees
General Admission  – $175  Early Bird Ticket (until July 13) $150
VIP Ticket $400


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